Our Wedding

Christine’s Story

My wife and I met the 1st day of college in an incredibly serendipitous way – we were freshmen roommates.  We were both from small towns and neither of us acknowledged that we might be gay.  It took us a year and a half to finally start dating (my wife claims she kissed me first!).  The day was March 22, 1999.  I remember the date clearly because it is the day my life changed forever.

Our WeddingWhile the story of how we met and started dating seems almost like a fairy tale, the reality of our relationship was nothing like the “happily ever after” I dreamt about.  For awhile we lived blissfully in what is often dubbed “The Honeymoon Period.”  We spent nearly ever waking minute together.  I bought her roses and she wrote poems about me in her creative writing class.  We would cuddle for hours and call each other by cutesy pet names.  We were totally, completely, whole-heartedly…in love.  But after the bliss started to wear off, problems seemed to appear out of nowhere.  We were different people who were raised differently with different role models and different ideas on how relationships work.  We knew that we loved each other and were meant to be together, but instead we were unhappy, unfulfilled and worried if there was really a future for us together.

I remember those first few years like they were yesterday.  I was so incredibly in love with Liz but so incredibly miserable at the same time.  We had completely different “discussion” styles – I yelled while she would sit silently staring straight ahead.  We had no idea how to really communicate with each other.  We seemed to always be hurting each other’s feelings.  Our intimacy suffered, our health suffered and our certainty in our future was failing.  We didn’t want to break up or hurt each other anymore.  We KNEW we had to do something.

I remember some of the questions I would ask myself during our quest to fix our relationship.  Questions like, “How do other people make their relationships work?”  “Are other people happy or are they just afraid to be alone?”  “Is it possible to be happy, in love and passionate about your signifLiz and I out to dinner to Paris on Thanksgivingicant other after the “Honeymoon” ends?”  I had to know the answers but I wasn’t sure where to find them.

Heterosexuals have no problem finding relationship books, programs, therapists, seminars and even weekend retreats.  Ten years ago there wasn’t much out there for lesbians.  I diligently read any book I could find on the subject, taking a little here and a little there to try out.  I read lesbian, gay and heterosexual relationship books.  I listed to audio, watched videos and adapted exercises for us.  Slowly our relationship got stronger and stronger.  We could finally talk about our problems and find solutions without yelling at each other.  We started feeling deeper levels of love, respect and intimacy.  Our sex life got A LOT better!  We felt like we were in love again.

It’s amazing to me to look back now and know the answers to those questions that bothered me so much.  Now I know how people make their relationships work.  I know that it is possible to be happy, in love and passionate about your significant other.  I know this because I live it.  Because I remember how our relationship used to be, how unhappy I was, I want to teach people how to put that magic back into their relationship.

What Successful Couples Do

 "5 Simple Things Successful Couples Do To Create Extraordinary Relationships that Last for Decades..."

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *