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The Sorting Game – Get the Most Out of Dates!

Why do people date?  What is dating?

Dating is a sorting process.  You get to “try” someone out before you commit to spending the rest of your life with them.  The dating process may last a night, a month, or a year or more depending on how quickly you can gauge long term compatibility.Lesbians Cooking Dinner

The problem with how most women date is that they take dating personally.  They feel personally rejected when someone does not want to continue dating them.  They think something is wrong with them – they’re not smart enough, not pretty enough, etc.  What if nothing is wrong with you at all?  What if the both of you just aren’t compatible?

Have you ever decided to stop seeing someone because there just wasn’t any chemistry?

Have you ever turned down a date because she reminded you of an ex?

Have you ever broken up with someone because they wanted/didn’t want a family, were at a different stage of life than you, or wanted different things out of life?

I’m going to say it again, dating is a sorting process.  Each time you go out on a date you’re mentally comparing your dating experience with your personal list of dating musts and she’s doing the same thing.  It may feel like you’re being rejected personally, like something is wrong with you but it’s simply your perspective on the situation.

Think about it, there are plenty of wonderful women out there that you don’t click with, right?  There’s nothing wrong with them but they’re just not right for you.  If you recognize this, you have to also recognize that there are plenty of women who like you but you’re just not a good fit for them.

I know, you’re wondering, “But what about the women who blow me off, are rude, or cheat on me?”  Listen, those women are not right for you.  They’re proving it by their behavior.  Their behavior is showing you that something is wrong with them, not you!

What’s the solution?  Look at dating differently.  Recognize it as a sorting process and practice being detached from the outcome.

It can be much easier to stop taking dating personally when you realize how often you “sort” potential mates.   Think about your friends, how many of them would you date?  Why or why not?  You love them and think they’re wonderful people, but most of them are not right for you, right?

Finally, remember that every second you spend dating the wrong person, is one that you spend not finding Ms. Right.

 

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