lesbian couple cuddling on bench

3 Things You Need RIGHT NOW to Feel More Connected…

lesbian couple cuddling on bench

Creating deep connection with your significant other requires 3 things – time, focus, and sharing.  When you feel disconnected from her, you can sure that you are missing one component of connection.  To re-establish deep connection you need to make sure you are creating experiences together that include all three components.


To create a strong bond and deep connection you need to spend quality time together.  The length of time is less important than how the time is spent.  It’s all about the quality of the time, not the quantity.  Quality time means that the focus is on the both of you having an experience together as a couple.  Everyone has a different idea of what quality time is for them, so have a conversation with your significant other and ask her these questions:

What does quality time mean to you?

What are quality time activities for you?

How do you know when we’ve had quality time together?

Quality time activities could include going out for a date night, playing a game together, reading to each other, taking a day trip, or even just cuddling on the couch talking about your day.


Deep connection requires focused attention.  When you’re having quality time together, you need to focus on the activity and be present in the experience with your significant other.  If you’re thinking about a project at work or what you’re doing this weekend, you’re not going to be present in the moment with her.  Keep your focus on what you’re doing and what you’re experiencing.  Stay engaged by talking to your significant other, asking questions, and sharing your thoughts.  If you’re mind starts to wander, just refocus on the present.  With practice you’ll be able to stay in the moment without being distracted.


Creating more connection requires sharing of yourself with your significant other.  This includes sharing your thoughts, your ideas, your emotions, and your physical self (through sex, cuddling, kissing).  Learning to be open with her allows you to be understood on a deeper level.  When you feel deeply understood and accepted, you’ll feel deep connection with each other.  Foster understanding, respect, and acceptance in your relationship on a daily basis to create an environment where you can both be open to sharing.  Don’t let negative feelings linger.  Instead work together to clear up miscommunications, solve problems, and resolve issues with love and respect for each other.

To create deeper connection using time, focus, and sharing try this exercise:

Cuddle up, face-to-face, and talk to each other.  Spend time looking in each other’s eyes and trading kisses.  Talk about something fun or day dreamy, like where you would like to go on vacation, what you love about each other, or what you’re excited about in the future.

This kind of intimate connection time is incredibly powerful.  The combination of touching, eye gazing and sharing of your thoughts will make you feel closer and more connected almost immediately.  If you feel uncomfortable at first, try laying face-to-face with your eyes closed taking slow deep breaths together until you can relax and feel open to the experience.

Creating a deeply connected relationship is easy once you master the three pieces of connection.  Use all three regularly to enjoy a deeper, more fulfilling relationship together.

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